Here I am, again, 6 months after I first started this blog to articulate my worries about drinking.
The lack of posts indicates that things haven’t been going well. I’ve just emerged from what could be categorized as a 5 day controlled bender. When I say controlled, I mean I just drank a bit every night. You know, 14 units or so. 25 on one night.
I’ve been having therapy to try and work through some of the other issues I’m experiencing and this morning my therapist told me in no uncertain terms that we can’t continue to work together unless I kick the drinking. She almost threw me out of the session for being hungover (tough love eh?). Little does she know I turned up drunk to one of the evening sessions. Brilliant use of all that money I’ve been spending on the sessions eh?
Well, this time I’m taking it seriously. I’m going to go to one alcoholics anonymous meeting this week, on her suggestion, and see how I get on with that. I’m terrified. Not of the meeting, but of the stopping drinking, which says everything I need to know that it’s time to stop.
One thing I know in life is that almost consistently for the past 12 years, I’ve found great solace, friendship and power in online communities. I’m looking forward to spending my first 30 days trying to be sober alongside some of the other bloggers I’ve been reading about today. The thing I love most is that they’re people like me. High functioning, intelligent women who struggle with drink. They’ve owned up to it, fight to control it and now so should I.
One of the most powerful blogs I’ve read (nay, devoured) today is this: http://tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.wordpress.com/2013/03/14/100-day-challenge/ (it’s been so long since I’ve blogged I’ve forgotten how to hyperlink… Fail)
I’m signing up. I’m going to bloody do this. Promise.