Pride

12 Dec

Today I’ve had a great day. The grey clouds have cleared, I’m feeling radiant and healthy, I’m on 32 days sober and I fancy a drink.

This time, I want to drink because I’m proud of something that happened at work. Something I’ve been working on for a long time came to fruition in a brilliant moment and I’m high as a kite. I feel really proud not only because of what I did, but also that managed to pull it off mostly during my drinking days.

That means that I’m ok with alcohol right?! That I can still function at work just fine when I’m hungover. So I might as well drink tonight, to celebrate. RIGHT?

Wrong.

I need to remember how far I’ve come this past month and what I’d be giving up.

I’ve been really low this month and haven’t yet had to deal with the desire to drink when I’m ecstatically happy. I used to drink on a high a lot, and love it. Until the next day. And the day after that when I was still drinking through the hangovers.

I’ve had so many conversations with myself tonight about how I NEED to relapse to remember why drinking is a bad idea. WHAT MADNESS IS THAT WOLFIE?!

So here’s what I’m going to do:

I’m going to go home, buy some bottles of 0% beer on the way home so I have the ritual of popping the top of a fizzy treat, have some nice food and go to bed.

I can’t risk going out to a bar with colleagues or letting myself get any hungrier.

Action stations- I’m about to kick wolfie’s arse.

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6 Responses to “Pride”

  1. happierlikethis December 12, 2013 at 9:25 pm #

    Kapow! I’ve just seen Wolfie flying overhead, yelping. You got him! And congratulations on your work success. Now you know, low or high, that you can woop that mangy vermin. Double whammy. X

  2. lucy2610 December 13, 2013 at 10:44 am #

    Another sober blogger found! I’m supposed to be working but keep finding new sober blogs and can’t stop reading. I also drink alcohol free beer if I fee the need to celebrate – it works for me too. Congrats on your 30 days 🙂 I love the 100 day challenge ticker you have going on and wondered how you did that?

    • FitFatFood December 15, 2013 at 10:02 pm #

      I found a widget in wordpress that helps you count down I think 🙂 I wish it counted up in days, but you can’t have it all!

      • lucy2610 December 16, 2013 at 8:52 pm #

        Found it! Thank you 🙂

  3. Lola Marigold December 13, 2013 at 7:38 pm #

    I had good news two days ago and my first thought was, a case of beer and a pack of smokes! sigh

    • FitFatFood December 15, 2013 at 10:03 pm #

      We’ll retrain our minds though I’m certain of it.

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