Taking time for Me

21 Jan

To try and make this time round a successful sober lifestyle where other attempts have failed, I’m taking some time for me. Slowing down. Not trying to be the best goddamn sober person ever doing it all, having it all, and remaining tee total.

But, I’ve been trying to work out how, exactly, I slow down when I have a hectic full time job, am marathon training, flat-hunting and trying to get to an AA meeting every day.

I realised this morning that I am in a very privileged position- I don’t have children who depend on me, I don’t have a partner who needs my love and attention, it’s just little old me. And (HOPEFULLY!) life won’t be this solitary forever. So maybe now is the time to really take advantage of that and heal myself from the ups and downs of drinking over Christmas and the New Year, from the linger term damage drinking has done. Should I be selfish with the aim of getting to a place (eventually) where I’m sober, balanced and ready to truly love and support others rather than being caught in a drink-relapse cycle?

I’m off work today, and contemplating taking the rest of the week off to focus and relax into sobriety. Every time I’ve tried before I’ve had my Day 1 right in the middle of a manic work week and haven’t ever truly stopped to take stock or recover, despite blogging it out. And foolishly used my Christmas break to drink…

I’m not sure whether taking time off wise, as I don’t want my work to suffer, but equally know I need some more time away to get myself back on track, to attend as many meetings as I can and be still.

I’ll see how the rest of the day goes, but for now, I’m grateful to be able to have a sober day to myself.

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7 Responses to “Taking time for Me”

  1. Mental Rollercoaster January 21, 2014 at 1:57 pm #

    Your post really resonated with me today. I’m 10 months sober and just yesterday talked frankly with my boss about reducing my hours temporarily. I have a similar lifestyle to you, in that I don’t have children. I too saw that the timing is right to invest in some self-care. I realize I may have done a little damage at work by admitting I need a temporary break, but when I weigh it against the alternative (potentially crumbling from juggling too many heavy items), I have no regrets. I think that I’m setting myself up for long-term success with this short-term break.

    I certainly cannot make suggestions for you, but I hope that you’re able to make time for taking care of yourself. It truly is an investment in the future you. You’ve got such a great start here, keep building on it! Big hugs!

  2. lucy2610 January 21, 2014 at 5:19 pm #

    FFF if it feels right and that it is something you need to do then do it! Maybe it should be viewed as a sober treat – the gift of no work for a few days? xx

  3. Chris H January 21, 2014 at 8:56 pm #

    I hope I am not being too nosey, but a couple of weeks ago you said you were going to have a doctors appointment to check for liver damage. Was wondering how you got on? I suppose I am worried that if your liver was in trouble mine might be too, given my consumption…..Again, sorry if this is too intrusive.

    • FitFatFood January 21, 2014 at 11:42 pm #

      Not at all Chris! I’m waiting to go for a liver test and will post the results here 🙂

  4. Lilly January 21, 2014 at 10:01 pm #

    Sweetie, do it I say, take advantage of the fact you can. This is a huge time of change for you and it’s worth focusing on. Work will still be there. And you will be a better employee for having better mental and emotional health. Hugs. xo

  5. Amina C January 23, 2014 at 12:45 am #

    I got sober first with no baby or husband. It was great being able to go to meetings whenever and hang out with other alcoholics. I strayed when I got pregnant. That may be one of my biggest regrets. Now I don’t have the time and wish I did.
    Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself…you deserve it!
    Xo
    Amina

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Life Changes Every 24 Hours in Sobriety | mentalrollercoaster - January 21, 2014

    […] (“Blogging to Stay Sober”) recent post “Time for Me” perfectly expresses the internal struggle between needing self-care and the concern about how to […]

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