Moving On

28 Feb

It’s a pretty big day. I’m moving out of the flat I’ve spent the past year in and am going to live with a friend temporarily while my flat sale goes through.

The flat I’m leaving is the one I moved into when I left my ex-boyfriend, the flat I felt lonely and newly single in, where my drinking alone reached its very worst. I’ve had some tough times there, and some bad hangovers, but I leave it with fond memories. When I wake up in the morning and look out of my big sash window, right by my bed, I see the most beautiful view. Since I’ve been sober, this view reminds me of one of my last drinking episodes where I woke up, looked out of it and cursed the sky: ‘why are you so BLUE?!’ It makes me laugh now.

I’ve done a lot of growing in that flat: from negotiating the single life for the first time and getting sober. I feel like I’m leaving it with my head held high and a bright future ahead, rather than desperately hoping for a fresh start without drink which is how I felt when I moved in.

There’s a lot going on over the next few months- I need to find a new job, push the flat sale through and do so whilst essentially living out of a suitcase in my friend’s spare room. It’s going to be quite stressful, but also exciting. I just need to keep myself grounded and balanced, make sure I don’t let the instability get to me too much.

At least I want to be sober more than I want to drink now. I’m at 45 days and it feels bloody brilliant. Drinking isn’t something I crave, or want to do right now. Those cravings may return in the future, but the further I get away from that horrible last drink, the stronger my resolve is to ride the wave and make it through whatever discomfort I’m in.

Mercifully because it’s still winter, my social life has been quite and I’ve been spending a lot of time on my own, only
going to the odd party or work event. I need to start getting out there again socializing again, but to be honest, I don’t really want to yet. One thing I’ve realised since getting sober is that I like spending time alone WAY more than I thought I did. Which is great, but I also need to maintain a social life and have some fun too.

I’m looking forward to this next chapter. Let’s see how it goes…

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7 Responses to “Moving On”

  1. Binki February 28, 2014 at 10:37 am #

    I moved in January and it was so liberating to have a fresh start, I totally identify with this post, thank you xxx

  2. soberlearning February 28, 2014 at 12:36 pm #

    Nice life changes. Good for you on 45 days, it gets better. I understand the wanting to be alone. I do too, but I am married and have a grown son living with us right now. I am craving my alone time and peace and quite. hard to find.
    I hope your next chapter is fabulous!

  3. wren1450 February 28, 2014 at 1:28 pm #

    You sound great….centered and focused. Fantastic!

    • FitFatFood February 28, 2014 at 3:30 pm #

      I hope it sticks! Thanks J x x x

  4. One day at a time February 28, 2014 at 2:43 pm #

    Perhaps this is what you need. Close the door on the old flat and your old way of life and look forward to an exciting new chapter in your life.

  5. soberjournalist February 28, 2014 at 5:21 pm #

    ‘Why are you so BLUE?’ – I love that, it made me laugh! I moved around a lot during the last 2 years of my drinking and for some reason I thought each move would magically fix things, but of course it didn’t as you know! Good luck with move. It might be stressful (at times) but it will be tons easier than if you were still drinking. Kx

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