Gifts of Sobriety Part II

8 Mar

I blogged last year, when I was 30 days into my sober run leading up to Christmas, about all the positive things I was experiencing in sobriety. Lots of small things, adding up to a sense of contentment, which made the craving battles worthwhile.

Then, I was a fledgling sober chick learning to make my way in the sober world, with every day a scary experience full of lessons. Now, I’m a fledgling sober chick with just a tiny bit more experience behind me, but my goodness what a difference that experience has made. I’ve seen the benefits of sobriety morph into big, huge, life changing things. 

I like to leave myself little messages in a bottle to remind myself why sobriety is worth all the struggle and heartache. Here’s my latest list of the benefits of sobriety:

I have landed the job of my dreams: I blogged last week about finding myself without a contract that would leave me out of work. I knew that this was both a blessing and a curse: it would get me out of the job that I knew was a major part of the dissatisfaction that drove me to drink, but that I needed the stability. Because I’m sober, I accepted the bad news, moved on and set about getting a job search going. Yesterday, I was offered the role of my dreams. I cannot quite believe it. There is NO WAY I could have got myself together to get that job when I was drinking, no way. This job is life changing, and yes it’s down to my hard work and the fact I’m good at my job when not under the influence of alcohol, but it is also 100% a result of getting sober. 

I have bought a house– I laid the foundations for this in my last sober run, beginning my search and this time round I’m in the process of sealing the deal. Such a stressful, grown up decision would have been completely out of my grasp when drinking. 

I’ve been given the all clear on liver health– speaks for itself, this one. Thank God I’m not dealing with long term physical consequences. 

My self-esteem has been transformed– I like myself now, I accept who I am and I trust myself a little more. This is worth its weight in gold. Drinking made me feel like a piece of dog poo squished on someone’s shoe and I don’t have that battle to contend with any more. 

I have rediscovered a faith– A former Catholic who renounced the religion, I never thought I’d find myself turning to God again. But through AA I have, and it gives me such enormous comfort I can’t describe it. The job situation I’ve described feels like it’s got “Higher Power’ written all over it. I can’t believe I’m typing this, little sceptical me would never attribute anything to God, but now I do, and it makes me feel good. I feel safer, and trust that ‘everything is just as it’s supposed to be’ right now, which helps my mental well-being hugely.

My physical image is vastly improved– I look better because my skin has improved dramatically and I’m slowly slowly losing a little weight, but that’s not what feels important here. I feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel confident that one day, I might find a man who finds me attractive and could love me for who I am. I no longer have the desperate desire to lose a stone in weight to feel better about myself. Amazing stuff. 

The world is my oyster– I once said to Carrie that if I want to achieve anything in life, I have to stop drinking. If I want a decent career, job, or relationship, it had to go. Having had such amazing benefits of sobriety thus far, I feel I can live an exciting and full life that I could never have dreamed of when I was drinking. 

Last year was laying the groundwork– when I drank again at Christmas, I felt like I’d thrown away all my good work, because the second I drank I was back at square 1, having to do those painful first few weeks of sobriety all over again. But what I didn’t appreciate that all the experiences I had, the lessons I learnt and the sober tricks I banked were setting me up for a more successful sober run. I say this with great caution, but for me (and I can only speak about my own experience), every relapse was an important and possibly vital lesson learnt. Someone once said something similar to me about relapse being an important lesson, and I took it as a license to drink so I could bank more “experience” of the consequences of drinking, which was my alcoholic brain at work. I’m not for one second suggesting that drinking again is a good idea for anyone, but what I am saying is that the more you try things out and find things that work for you or things that trip you up, the more confidence you get and the easier sobriety becomes. 


I’m conscious as I write this that some pretty amazing things have happened because of sobriety and that it won’t always be like this. Nor will it feel as immediately rewarding and as easy as it does today. I still get killer cravings. I only have 7 weeks of sobriety that is so precarious everything I’ve worked for could come crashing down at any point. 

So I’m putting everything I can into staying sober, it’s just too precious to lose. 

Happy Saturday gang! 

12 Responses to “Gifts of Sobriety Part II”

  1. Binki March 8, 2014 at 6:29 pm #

    Love this xxx

  2. lucy2610 March 8, 2014 at 7:37 pm #

    What a wonderful upbeat post. So pleased for you FFF 🙂 xx

  3. primrosep March 8, 2014 at 7:54 pm #

    what a great post to read. many congratulations on the new job! am I right in thinking that each day for you now is a new sober PB? (so many apologies if I’ve got that wrong…) whichever, 7 weeks is amaaaazing. and I completely appreciate your feeling that you couldn’t have achieved the same things if you’d been drinking. So, let’s see – job, home, health, self-esteem, faith, happy in your own skin, the world at your feet – that’s quite a list! and NONE of it to be found at the bottom of a bottle of wine. none of it! hurrah for gifts of sobriety! P xx

    • FitFatFood March 9, 2014 at 10:29 pm #

      Thanks lady! And yes, this is a new sober PB by nearly 3 weeks- every day is a new adventure in society 🙂

  4. One day at a time March 8, 2014 at 8:22 pm #

    Fantastic news. So glad everything is coming together x

  5. Off-Dry March 8, 2014 at 8:40 pm #

    Loved reading this! Thank you.:-) Kristi

  6. Birdo March 9, 2014 at 7:42 pm #

    I don’t know if you have been following this, but I find this sad and inspiring in equal amounts:

    I’ve fallen off, and tomorrow I start again. Fingers crossed.

    • FitFatFood March 9, 2014 at 10:08 pm #

      Oh wow, powerful stuff.

      Strength to you x x x x x x x x

  7. Lilly March 9, 2014 at 11:08 pm #

    This is so excellent and I am so proud of you. I hope we will be celebrating a year together this time next year. And you’re absolutely right about looking to the lessons of relapse, rather than self flagellating for it.


    Lilly xo

  8. Rebecca A. Watson March 10, 2014 at 9:16 am #

    What wonderful news about the job! Congrats to you. I know that feeling you’re having…enjoy it and savor it. You deserve it 🙂 Sobriety is such a gift. I’m so happy you’ve found it and all the fantastic things that come along with it.

  9. pp March 10, 2014 at 7:46 pm #

    good to know that you learn from your slip ups. I had one yesterday, but I do know now that I have had some sober time behind me, that sober beats alcohol.

    Still learning! congrats on your time!

    • FitFatFood March 10, 2014 at 10:20 pm #

      We’re all still learning eh? 🙂

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