Spreading the Word

11 Mar

Today I told another close friend I’m in AA.

That makes 3 in total, all from very different friendship groups. My main motivation for doing it is so that slowly, within all corners of my social circle I have someone who will look out for me and fight me away from a glass of wine if I try and have one.

The friend I told struggled with a drug problem for a long time, so I knew he’d understand the complex nature of addiction we’re battling. He quit on his own, and it was a difficult journey. I met him after he quit so have never seen him when under the influence, but know how important a life change it was for him.

When I tell people, it’s so interesting seeing their reactions. They’re nothing like I assumed. In their eyes I don’t see judgement, but admiration. Everyone has used the word ‘brave.’

It’s funny, how it takes other people to validate an idea for me. I suppose it is brave, going to AA, talking to people about my problem, remaining determined to tackle it, but I don’t always see it that way. At first, I saw it as a moral failure I had to be ashamed of, somehow, or a symptom of weakness that I had this problem that required such drastic action. Now, I’m allowing myself to believe it is brave to do what I’m doing and that this bravery will keep me sober.

I’ll be 8 weeks without a drink tomorrow which I can’t believe. It’s starting to feel like the New Normal. Cravings have almost entirely disappeared, I rarely think about drinking and I feel good most days.

What a relief, to be in this place, finally. I’d fight off dragons to stay here 🙂

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17 Responses to “Spreading the Word”

  1. Debbie March 11, 2014 at 9:30 pm #

    Huge congrats on 8 weeks!! I wish I rarely thought about drinking . . . You must be very strong 🙂

    • FitFatFood March 11, 2014 at 9:35 pm #

      Not strong, just getting some distance. Thankfully life is so busy at the moment it’s distracting me 🙂

  2. Vodka Goggles March 11, 2014 at 9:55 pm #

    Woot for 8 weeks! You ARE very brave. I think the hardest part about sobriety, is telling others. I’m still in the shame stage and I’m 129 days sober (I had to look that up.)

  3. thirstystill March 11, 2014 at 11:18 pm #

    Congrats on 8 weeks, and on being able to tell people about your addiction. I call that brave, too! You know, I think we’re all like that, needing other people’s reactions to clarify or validate our own.

    I also wanted to thank you. Last week I was travelling and one evening in particular it was very hard to not drink. I started reading some blogs, and I read yours right from the beginning. Your honest writing about the pull of drinking and regret afterwards was an enormous help to me, and I got through the night without drinking. So big thanks to you for writing your blog!

    • FitFatFood March 12, 2014 at 8:03 am #

      I’m so glad to read this. Thank you for making my morning! It’s good to know it helps- I’ve had so much help from other peoples blogs, so here’s to continuing the tradition 🙂

  4. Lilly March 12, 2014 at 12:20 am #

    Yay! This is so great to hear. And so encouraging to me right now. Just another reminder it gets better and better. Go you! And telling people seems like great insurance too. xo

    • FitFatFood March 12, 2014 at 8:05 am #

      To be honest, a small part of me was a bit annoyed I’d told ANOTHER person who now won’t let me drink. Which just confirms I am, indeed, an alcoholic…

  5. Mental Rollercoaster March 12, 2014 at 1:51 am #

    Congratulations! It’s inspiring to read about you telling select friends about sobriety. Thank you for sharing with us all!

  6. soberjournalist March 12, 2014 at 9:22 am #

    This is great. I wish I’d told more people sooner. Telling ‘real life’ people (you know what I mean!) definitely keeps you more accountable.

  7. themiracleisaroundthecorner March 12, 2014 at 3:19 pm #

    I am definitely in the camp that telling family and friends you are attending AA takes more bravery than attending AA… at least it was that way for me. And the accountability factor… HUGE! What an important step, very inspiring!

    And of course… CONGRATULATIONS! 8 WEEKS!!!

    Thanks for giving me a smile today!

  8. primrosep March 13, 2014 at 7:32 am #

    rats – wordpress ate my comment from yesterday! what I wanted to say was that I am finding telling people easier the more time I have sober. (This seems desperately unfair as it is in the early days when one needs most support.) I think it is because I am more secure in my sobriety and so am more assertive about how I tell people. Also if you can say to someone “I have been doing this for eight weeks (BTW EIGHT WEEKS!!!! 🙂 !!!! )” then it is clear that it is really important to you and not just a whim. But the accountability you gain is worth all the effort! P xx

    • FitFatFood March 13, 2014 at 8:12 am #

      Thanks Primrose- today I’m annoyed about that accountability but it will pass 🙂

  9. sswl March 14, 2014 at 2:24 am #

    You’re darn right it’s brave! Hard, too. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
    You’re so smart to tell people about your alcoholism. It keeps you honest.
    Big congrats on 8 weeks.–Susan

  10. Rebecca A. Watson March 14, 2014 at 11:50 am #

    Congrats on your 8 weeks! That is so rad 🙂 Love that you’re not feeling the cravings as much. Isn’t that a relief. I think it’s hard to see yourself while you’re doing something, especially if it involved drinking. You only have some weird idea of who you are or were and what you’re doing. It’s only after you have some time and can look back that you can agree with those folks, that YES you were (and are) brave.

    • FitFatFood March 14, 2014 at 11:51 am #

      ‘You only have some weird idea of who you are or were and what you’re doing.’

      SO true. Thank you.

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