100 Days without alcohol

24 Apr

Today I’m celebrating 100 days without alcohol. I can’t quite believe I’ve got here, to be honest. I had so many aborted attempts, so many times of giving up, giving in and resetting to Day 1 I never thought I’d dig in and do it. But I have. And here’s what I’ve learnt:

Never Give Up- no matter how many Day 1s I had, I knew I wanted to give myself the chance to experience life alcohol free. It’s worth every moment of the struggle. It’s bloody hard, some days, but if I’d thrown in the towel I’d just be having to start over again. I want to keep up this sober momentum at all costs.  

I felt the benefits almost immediately– Within 2 weeks of being alcohol free, I was feeling SO much better physically. I was sleeping like a baby, I felt generally happier and I had bags of energy. 

My hair, skin and nails started shining within a month– I just LOOKED so much better within the first 4-5 weeks. People would tell me how great my skin looked, and having always suffered with rosecea, I was thrilled when it finally died down. One of the most frequent search terms that leads people to my blog is, hilariously, about losing a puffy face when you stop drinking. Well if you’re here looking to stop face puffiness, PUT DOWN THE WINE. My face slimming down has made me look like I’ve lost half a stone. I’m quite slim, but my chipmunk swollen face was making me feel really fat. All it took was removing the alcohol. 

Weight loss needs to go out of the window for the first 3 months– this is the bit no-one wants to hear. When I first started this blog, I was all about the weight loss. I knew the sole reason I’d put on weight from previously being super-skinny was drinking and bingeing when drunk, so I thought if I removed the wine and trained for 2 marathons whilst doing it, those pounds would drop off. Not true. I’ve actually gained a few pounds. This is due to an increased sugar intake, and needing to actually start eating dinner in the evening rather than skipping it in favour of wine. Having previously suffered from an eating disorder, I can honestly say my eating is the healthiest and most balanced its ever been. My body is strong from all the marathon training. I’m not 100% happy with how I look, as I know changing up my diet and training will shift some of the extra fat I’m carrying, but that will come in time. I cannot express how difficult it was for me to wrap my head round not losing weight but now I’m in a slightly more stable place with my sobriety, it’s the next thing I’m going to address. I’d rather be sober than skinny. 

Put your sobriety before everything else– Before losing weight, before socialising, hell, before your job if needs be. I got signed off work for a week or so in my first few weeks of early sobriety and it was the best gift I could have given myself. I had the chance to take time for myself, get into a sober routine and not run myself ragged by trying to work AND be sober AND marathon train. I’ve adjusted my social life- I still go to most parties and nights out, but I’ve got better at hearing the warning signals in my own head. If I’m in danger of drinking, I just leave. Out the door, sharpish. I’m so much happier with my social life because I choose how long I want to stay at an event, rather than hanging around just to drink or drinking my way through a boring night.

Find a sober ritual- In very early sobriety, I started doing two things before I went to bed. Lighting a ridiculously overpriced but gorgeous scented candle and writing a gratitude list. I found these two simple things so incredibly soothing as I gave myself time to dwell on the gift of a sober day. There’s nothing lovelier than that moment you’re truly happy to be sober and thanks to this ritual, I have that moment nightly. 

Treat yourself, but not as a direct reward for being sober– Bear with me on this one, this is just my experience and view, but I think it’s an important one to share. A lot of the sober blogging world quite rightly focuses on treats and thinking as you have one ‘this is my reward for being sober.’ I buy into this, great, treat yourself definitely. BUT what I struggled with was the idea that this was instead of treating myself with wine. Thinking ‘this is my treat for getting sober’ made me think ‘well wine would be a more fun treat.’ Classic wolfie voice madness.

When I shifted the notion of treats ever so slightly over to self care, it was transformative for me. Really, they’re exactly the same thing, saying ‘I value myself and I’m going to give myself this pleasurable experience because I deserve pleasure in my life’, but that very subtle shift in thinking for me. It’s helped me break the association of wine = pleasure and think about how the small pleasures I enjoy daily wouldn’t exist if I was pouring wine into my system. 

3 months is at once a lifetime and no time at all- in some senses, 100 days has DRAGGED. I feel like I’ve been sober forever. Battling often, being ecstatic frequently. But I’ve got so so far to go. For me, reaching this target is nice, but in all honesty, I have to learn to live this way forever. I’ve tried moderation, I’ve tried drinking again after a period of abstinence and I’ve found myself right back at where I started. I’ve lost all my sober zen the very second I pick up a drink. What I have is too precious to give up.

It’s hard work– being a grown up and dealing with emotions is HARD. Who knew?! I need to keep working away to learn new ways to cope. As readers of this blog know, I struggle ALOT with being sober, with not jacking it all in. But I’ve stuck with it and I’m feeling a million times better than I did on day 1.

A thought is just a thought– I’ve fantasised about drinking a million times in the past 100 days. I blog here about ‘being close’ to taking a drink. But on reflection, that’s not strictly true. I’ve never actually seriously made any move towards taking a drink. I haven’t had to walk away from a bar where I was about to order or put down a bottle of wine in the supermarket. On the surface, I feel like it’s a constant struggle to stay sober but actually, deep down something has clicked and I know that I’m not in REAL danger. Of course I have to be vigilant. Of course that urge will always be there, but I now know that a thought is not an action, and I keep those niggling ideas that a drink would be just fabulous right now locked up in the confines of my chattering brain.

Try anything once– I thought that AA wasn’t for me. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I can honestly say it’s been the single biggest factor in getting me sober. I’d been blogging for around a year, tried the 100 Day Challenge innumerable times and never been sober for more than 40 days. The moment I walked into my first AA meeting I knew I was in the right place. This was not a feeling I expected to have. AA has become my anchor. No matter how antsy I get, how quickly my mind is running towards a dark place, if I get myself to a meeting I experience the same relief I got from picking up a drink. As a constant relief-seeker, I feel like I’ve struck gold. I go to around 3 meetings a week, more if I need it, and it’s amazing. I feel a real sense of community, joy, laughter and the wealth of experience in those rooms is incredible. Of course some days people share and I want to walk straight out of there, thinking YOU ARE A PROPER ALCOHOLIC I AM NOT, but mostly, I love it. 

Alcoholic is just a word- I believe I am an alcoholic. I couldn’t have said this a few months ago. Because of the stigma surrounding the word, it’s become a dirty thing to say. The friends I’ve told about being in AA have been so shocked at the notion I identify as an alcoholic. But what makes me one, in my eyes is the following: I get caught in a cycle of drinking much more than I want to, once alcohol enters my veins I need more, my drinking increased to dangerous levels, drinking was seriously affecting my mental and physical health yet I could not stop, I maintained a lovely looking life on the outside, knowing alcohol was eroding my inside and the only thing that has got me sober is identifying 100% as an alcoholic. I really like the idea of having an allergy to alcohol. It’s not a moral failure, having a drinking problem, as I once thought. It’s just a socially inconvenient truth I need to get my head round. 

Emotional sobriety is the most important thing for me to learn- I didn’t understand, before AA, why I drank. I didn’t understand that the characteristics I’ve battled with my whole life (being over sensitive, over achieving, people pleasing to name just a few) are at the heart of the addictive personality. Before I started seriously drinking 2 years ago, I had other terrible coping behaviours to get me out of my own head. Starving myself. Running obsessively until my legs could no longer support my weight. Now, I’ve got a set of tools to learn how to cope with being me. In all honesty, if tomorrow I was suddenly granted the gift of moderation and could drink normally, I’d still go to AA. What I learn there is basically How to Be a Human Being. 

Just get through the day– The key to my sobriety so far has been bargaining with myself that I won’t drink today. It’s age old stuff, the ‘one day at a time’ notion, Belle’s ‘Not Today’ idea, but it works. If I can get myself through one tough day, I’m much more likely to get through the next. I never wake up in the morning feeling worse than I went to bed, and I always wake up feeling a million times better. So grateful for being sober. 

So here I am. What next? More of the same, I think. I can see battles ahead, as the initial excitement of getting sober subsides, but I also see great moments of sunshine and light and I cannot wait to see what’s round the corner. 


72 Responses to “100 Days without alcohol”

  1. afteralcohol April 24, 2014 at 7:08 am #

    Oooh, oooh, can I be the first person to say a huge and enthusiastic CONGRATULATIONS!? Your story has been so very compelling, from the first entries when you were coming to terms with needing to stop drinking, to the sheer determination from that moment on, and I’ve been riveted.

    I’m not where you are yet, but I’m so glad you are, and I’m pretty confident that I will be too, thanks in part to your wonderful blogging.

    Now go get yourself a lovely sober treat.

    • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 4:39 pm #


      Thanks so much- it’s funny, isn’t it, that I never actually intended to write a sober blog and here I am with all this writing behind me that helps both me and others in their sober journeys. I love your blog and seeing how spot on you are with your thinking I suspect you’ll be where I am very soon 🙂

  2. primrosep April 24, 2014 at 7:52 am #

    I am so happy and proud that you have come so far. and excited to see where you will go now. next stop world domination 😉 well done, my dear, and looking forward to hearing your next chapter! xxx

    • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 4:38 pm #

      Ahhh and you shall be right by my side in world domination dearest primrose. Thank you so much for all your humour and wisdom and support. You are the best. No, really.

  3. wheatism April 24, 2014 at 7:57 am #

    Big congratulations, I a great post and I especially like your point about “Treat yourself, but not as a direct reward for being sober” x

    • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 4:37 pm #

      Thank you- it’s helped me to think about treating myself for, well, just being me and here and doing this stuff!

  4. lucy2610 April 24, 2014 at 8:22 am #

    *doing a jig at my keyboard* Go FFF Go FFF!!! HUGE congrats on staying on the sober path. Love this post and particularly the ‘socially inconvenient truth’ line. SOOO true!! 🙂 We will run together soon to celebrate (even if you’re not running beside me) 😉 xx

    • lucy2610 April 24, 2014 at 8:24 am #

      Had to add: the seeing sober treats as ‘self care’ is spot on. I commented on Prim’s blog today how crap I was at self care before and how important it is now 🙂

    • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 4:37 pm #

      Thanks Lucy! We SHALL run, free as birds, avoiding the booze at the end of the race (!)

  5. momma bee April 24, 2014 at 11:24 am #

    I am so happy & proud of you… Onto another 100 days! Hugs

    • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 4:36 pm #

      Thank you! And how are YOU? I need to check out your blog- it doesn’t show up in my wordpress reader 😦

      • momma bee April 24, 2014 at 4:53 pm #

        well, we will have to fix that 😉 i am well actually. i really enjoying meetings and have a sponsor. i stared reading the 1st step and waiting to meet w/ her to get my homework! we both wanted nothing to do w/ AA and now its a vital part of our recovery. who knew right? thanks for asking!

      • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 6:31 pm #

        The least likely but best outcome for us both 🙂 do check in more, I worry about all my lovely blogger friends!

  6. Rebecca A. Watson April 24, 2014 at 11:34 am #

    Yeeeehaw! Happy 100 days and go YOU! These are some great things you’ve pointed out. Like Lucy commented, I am also not too good at self care and I think treating yourself nicely isn’t just “here have this cookie instead of wine.” you hit the nail on the head. And the weight thing? You’re right, no one wants to hear it but honestly, if you hang in there, the weight will melt off. It just takes a little while. Keep on keeping on girlie! So happy for you 🙂

    • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 4:36 pm #

      Keep on keeping on I sure will!

      Thanks so much Rebecca and for all your kind and brilliant comments over the past few months x

  7. carrythemessage April 24, 2014 at 11:42 am #

    Congrats on 100 days!

    Good, keen insights there, especially about putting sobriety first. Very important – as they say, whatever you put in front of sobriety are the things you will eventually lose. And finding your place in 12-step recovery is a wonderful thing too. Just meeting, talking and hearing alcoholics face-to-face really does make a difference. We isolated enough when we were out there, so it’s nice to talk to others who have gone through, or are going through, the same things we are really let’s us know that we aren’t alone in this!

    And yes, it’s hard work, especially at the beginning! Learning to deal with all the crap in our inner lives without booze is HARD. Getting down to causes and conditions for our drinking – HARD. But you know what? We learn so much about ourselves, we get the tools to deal and we build a support group and hopefully a connection to a Higher Power that we know is looking our for us. But at the very least, the fellowship of AA is always going to be there.

    Wonderful post – lots of great stuff. I hope that newcomers read this and see what sobriety looks like down the road 🙂


    • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 4:35 pm #

      So do I Paul 🙂

      I struggled so much, I hope it helps someone else to see that after all that falling over, it is possible to get some sober time under your belt if you stick with it.

  8. jamilynaz April 24, 2014 at 11:49 am #

    Congratulations on 100 days! This is a huge accomplishment! It sounds like you have really embraced sobriety and that you are on the right path. I am so happy for you. Keep up the good work!

    • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 4:34 pm #

      Thank you so much Jami. It doesn’t always feel like I have embraced it fully, but I’m doing everything in my power to stay sober and for now, that’s working 🙂

  9. wren1450 April 24, 2014 at 11:54 am #

    Fantastic news for me to wake up to this morning! I am so happy for you……I printed out your posting. It is a keeper. There is lots of good information in this I need to re-read, and read again!

    Joan B.

    • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 4:33 pm #

      Ahhh Joan! Great to see you back. I hope the knee is sorting itself, finally.

      How are you getting on with sobriety? x x x x

  10. soberlearning April 24, 2014 at 1:10 pm #

    Congratulations on 100 days!! It is fantastic. I feel the same way about AA, those people “get” me, and I feel “normal” with them. Going to a meeting always calms me down. Never in my life did I think THAT would happen.
    Stay strong! You are doing amazing!

    • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 4:33 pm #

      Isn’t it weird?! I didn’t expect the highlight of my day to be AA 😉 Thanks so much for your kind words x

  11. Debbie April 24, 2014 at 3:36 pm #

    Congratulations on 100 days! And your insights are amazing. I’m over 200 days but have yet to achieve your confidence and self awareness. You are doing amazing and I’m so proud of you! Great post, truly 🙂

    • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 4:32 pm #

      Thanks so much Debbie. And it’s so good for me to have people ahead on the sober road, it makes me believe doing this is possible x

  12. jenisthesoberist April 24, 2014 at 4:07 pm #

    This is so great! I feel happy that you have 100 days under your belt. You also make me want to give AA another try. 🙂 Have a wonderful day! xx

    • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 4:32 pm #

      Thanks Jen, and you my love! Thanks for all the supportive comments you’ve made on here, they help more than you can ever know x

  13. Sober Second Half April 24, 2014 at 8:16 pm #

    Congratulations! 100 days is a big milestone! We’ve had a similar learning experience during the last three months; I can relate to nearly everything you listed above (I didn’t attend AA, not for any particular reason, I just didn’t!) The not losing weight thing has been infuriating me to no end, but it is what it is and I know that once I start exercising in the warmer weather I will eventually shed the 5 pounds or so that I’m carrying around like a sack of potatoes. Congratulations again and keep doing what you’re doing!

    • FitFatFood April 24, 2014 at 8:43 pm #

      Thank you! Weight loss feels almost irrelevant now (although obvs it would be a huge bonus!) because I’m just so much happier in my own skin 🙂 bring on summer! 🙂

    • FitFatFood April 28, 2014 at 9:57 pm #

      I just posted today about the weight loss thing- we’ll both get there with our goals IF staying sober remains the most important thing x

  14. Lilly April 25, 2014 at 3:06 am #

    I am sooo happy to read this sober twin. A huge, huge CONGRATULATIONS to you on 100 days, that is so wonderful. As we discussed via email, the day counting is not the key thing but getting that solid time under you – so it’s a great milestone to mark. I loved reading this and it resonates so much with me too. I was having a tough night last night – walking around this neighbourhood past all these super cool, fun looking bars, feeling a bit sorry for myself, craving wine, wondering why not (blah blah fucking blah). This is such a lovely reminder why not and I’m happy to not be hungover today! Yay! You!

    • FitFatFood April 28, 2014 at 9:56 pm #

      Thanks Lily.

      You know, every time I think I want to drink, I think of the next morning. I NEVER EVER wake up thinking ‘ooooooohhh I wish I’d had a drink last night’

      I owe you an email. I am sorry! I’m away from my computer a lot at the moment but will write soon I promise xx x

      • Lilly April 29, 2014 at 12:28 am #

        No rush love. I can be dreadful at replying to emails in a timely fashion so I completely understand. It’s always lovely to hear from you whenever you have the time. xx

  15. carrieonsober April 25, 2014 at 8:48 am #

    100 days!!!!!!
    It’s been a priviledge to read and share in your awesome journey to 100 days. Your bravery and honesty have been truly appreciated and will have helped so many of us who have all been where you are. You are an inspirational, super sober star who has shared so much with all of us. Thank you for that and…
    Lots of love xx

    • FitFatFood April 28, 2014 at 9:55 pm #

      Ahh Carrie, thanks a mill!

      I hope this blogging lark has really helped others- I’ve benefitted so much from reading yours and others so the more of us out there doing it, the more different perspectives there are for people to potentially relate to.

      Thanks for all your help on my journey- you have been critical to my success so far x x x x

  16. One day at a time April 25, 2014 at 7:56 pm #

    I haven’t been around recently but so happy to read your news. That is absolutely fantastic. I’m so pleased for you. X

  17. Dragonfly Wanders April 28, 2014 at 1:53 pm #

    There is so much wisdom here, thank you! I just discovered the world of sober blogs and am having another go at sobriety, so these pearls are a gift.

    • FitFatFood April 28, 2014 at 8:53 pm #

      Brilliant stuff! And WELCOME! You will find lots of gems in the sober blogging world.

      It’s hard but worth it 🙂

  18. samsmash May 14, 2014 at 3:03 pm #

    Thank you. I’m on day 19 and this was extremely helpful to read!

    • FitFatFood May 14, 2014 at 3:41 pm #

      Glad to hear it! Around day 19 it was hard for me but it’s got so much easier now- you’ll get there x

  19. cielo2008 July 28, 2014 at 5:44 pm #

    I’m at 98 days today–and really appreciate this post as I am excited to reach 100 days this week. I can relate a lot to your writings. Please check out my blog, Alcoholic Single Father, if you get the chance. Let me know your thoughts: http://alcoholicsinglefather.wordpress.com Praying for continued blessings as we go for 200 days!

    • FitFatFood July 28, 2014 at 8:02 pm #

      great, will check it out, and huge well done on 100 days!

  20. Laura January 23, 2015 at 9:13 pm #

    Hi! I’m just starting out on my road towards 100 days (I’m on day 13 at the moment) and finding your blog was a true godsend! I found this post through Google and I’ve been reading through your blog ever since. It’s amazing, and scary at the same time, to see how much of it I can relate to.

    I fear these 100 days will be very difficult for me, but I do not want to give up, I do not want to fail. I hope I will find the willpower needed to stick to my resolution and hopefully it will lead to a better, sober life. A life, where I will no longer have to count the days I’ve been sober, because not drinking has become the norm.

    • FitFatFood January 23, 2015 at 10:05 pm #

      Thanks so much for commenting- your words mean alot.

      100 days is HARD. I know that, you know that, and we all feel the pain of that first awful few weeks. I never thought it would be worth all that heartache but it so was.

      Getting sober is without a doubt the best life decision I have made and I’m finally at that stage where not drinking is my norm. You can get there too. Sobriety is always possible. I found that the single biggest help was putting sobriety above everythinf else for those first few months. It felt so selfish but now Im longer term sober I can give more to those around me than I ever could when drinking.

      Keep going, reach out when you need to- I know you can do it x

  21. It's the weekend June 13, 2015 at 3:09 am #

    Amazing write up….. It makes me proud of you without knowing you. Keep up the good work and clean living…. Waking up in the morning feeling like you have a whole day ahead of you is an amazing feeling, and one I find impossible with booze in my life.

    • FitFatFood June 16, 2015 at 8:04 pm #

      Thank you for this wonderful comment. It made me glow on a tough day. Good luck with your AF quest x x x x

  22. MP September 30, 2015 at 8:27 pm #

    Just made it to day 100 today. Found your post and needed the inspiration! Thank you so much. Yes, life is much better, and I want to keep going, too. It is hard, but worth the struggle. Heavy sigh. I will drink that sugary cappuccino today!

    • FitFatFood September 30, 2015 at 8:28 pm #

      Well done! And savour every mouthful of sweet victory 😉

      Huge hug x

  23. Kate October 27, 2015 at 1:00 pm #

    Thank you so much for writing this. Such encouragement! And such truth! This is going to help me a lot – I’m on day 41. Thanks x

    • FitFatFood October 27, 2015 at 1:23 pm #

      Ahh you are soon to enter the golden time where things get much much easier! Good luck and well done x

  24. Abi August 31, 2016 at 6:19 pm #

    I will be 100 days sober September 15th 2016! And I’ve have read your story above and relate.. I can’t tell you when my alcoholism started exactly?? Always been a big drinker social and at home but behind that was a inseure depressed and anxious woman dying to fit in to be liked etc all those emotion then filtered in to my everyday life even when I was alone..especially when I was alone but clever me knew that a glass of wine or 2 takes the edge off, in my deluded mind I was happier and more relaxed able to stop the negative thoughts and so it began.. 2 became 3/ 4 then bottles upon bottles, then my way of life.. alcohol wrapped it’s deciving arms around me and wouldn’t let go, god I tried to stop over and over again then other times I wallowed in it enjoying the constantly numb emotionless existence I was living. I hated myself.
    But here I am day 85!
    I feel I am starting my life from scratch..its scary and im dealing with my emotions of guilt and shame and embarrassment about the whole thing raw, not easy but my god I’m happier I can’t bear the thought of sipping another drop! I’ve lost a lot of friends but my true friends are like precious jewels to me and my marriage and my parenting skills just flow so easy now..life is exciting, I ha e no idea what the future holds but I know im looking forward to finding out. Just being me?? Now there’s a thought I was never comfortable with.. me
    Fuck the alcohol! I don’t ‘need’ it ‘want’it! So come on life , for the first time iny 40 years I want to live it comfortable in my own skin 😊

  25. Carla October 13, 2017 at 2:10 am #

    YOu hit the nail on the head
    I’ve always had an addictive personality. I always try to perfect and master the things I obsess over. Alcohol and gambling were my addictions. Although binge drinking and blocking out began in college. I now know for a fact that I cannot drink alcohol. I am weak to it and I don’t want to lose control or lose the respect of my family.
    What are your thoughts on smoking weed to stay sober?

    • FitFatFood October 29, 2017 at 6:45 pm #

      My personal preference is no mind altering substances. I found that the addiction manifested itself in many ways, and finding another crutch didn’t help. I had to tackle the source of the addiction, which was extreme inner pain. I now live so happily and peacefully, and I’m sure you will get there too. It’s hard, but so worth it x x x x

  26. Dennis October 30, 2017 at 8:50 am #

    Hi, I just just typed 98 days without Alcohol into my search engine & found your blog, I enjoy’d reading your story and congratulate you on reaching 100 days booze free, how long has it been now ? I’m on day 98 & i feel a lot better I haven’t ever used AA nor do i intend to do so and like you i have put on a minuscule amount of weight but nothing to worry about I’m just looking forward to Wednesday when i reach 100 days like you. yours sincerely Dennis

    • FitFatFood November 1, 2017 at 8:24 am #

      It’s been 1,347 days. Can you believe it.

      It’s possible.

      And all the things that seemed so difficult are now almost effortless.

      Wishing you all the best for your journey x x x x

  27. nikki Janssen January 20, 2018 at 9:21 am #

    I’m starting day one again of my 100 day challenge. This is the fourth attempt in the space of under three weeks. I want so,much to get this going but keep sabotaging myself. Instigating rows with my husband and using normal daily life stress as excuses. So again today I will commit to staying sober come what may. I

    • FitFatFood January 20, 2018 at 4:53 pm #

      I’ve been there, it’s so tough. You are so strong and courageous for trying again and again. And that’s why, one day, it will stick. Keep going 🙏🏻

      • Nikki January 22, 2018 at 10:25 am #

        Thanks for your kind words. Have managed a sober weekend. Now onto planning for a sober week. Praying this will be the time it sticks. I hope I have the courage and resolve to conquer this. I don’t want it ruling me anymore.

      • FitFatFood January 22, 2018 at 9:58 pm #

        You have the courage and resolve, I know you do. Surrender to it and know deep down you can do this x x xx x x

      • Nikki January 23, 2018 at 9:01 pm #

        Oh thank you again for your supportive and encouraging words. It is giving me great strength and determination. I am just reading your posts about becoming sober. It is very refreshing to read about the struggles you have had with alcohol and the links with depression and other emotional issues. I often have struggled to find a connection with those who document their troubles with alcohol and don’t see any similarities. However your posts really resonate and for the first time feel I have similar emotional reasoning for abusing alcohol. I also am totally inspired as I can see how amazing life can and will be as a sober person. Continuing sober. Many many thanks x

      • FitFatFood January 27, 2018 at 12:52 am #

        Thank you Nikki. I wrote to help myself work out the feelings through the madness, and to know it’s helping in some way is a great comfort. Keep going x x x x

      • Nikki February 3, 2018 at 11:04 pm #

        Hi me again. Just wanted to share that I’ve completed another sober week. Had one very nasty day when the demons in my head were very active and especially vocal. Thankfully life events took control and I was no where near any alcohol for several hours. By the time I could have had a drink the voices were quiet again and there was no desire left at all to drink. I’ve found the tip of saying every morning ‘today I choose to not to drink’ very helpful. It means I’m not having to waste a lot of time and energy ´thinking about drinking’. I have though been suffering with exceptionally low mood. I hope this is just a passing phase and not a permanent fixture. Time will tell. In the meantime will try and do a little research. Wishing you a very happy sober Saturday night. Looking forward to waking up fresh and ready to a Sunday run. Xxxx

      • FitFatFood February 5, 2018 at 4:18 pm #

        What a wonderful thing to read this update. My heart nearly burst. Well done Nikki, you are doing so beautifully.

        Another thing that helped me was seeing my moods like the weather, with my essence as the sky- moods come and go, but there’s a beautiful blue space inside that I know is strong and able to do this x x xx

      • FitFatFood February 11, 2018 at 9:21 pm #

        Nikki, I just wondered how you were getting on x

      • Nikki February 12, 2018 at 10:41 am #

        Hello. That’s kind of you. Funnily enough I was going to let you know that today is my 25th day sober. The cravings have definitely departed and alcohol is not the first and last thought on my mind now. What a blessed relief. My emotions are still all over the place but I am taking the rough with the smooth and relating to your weather analogy. It helps. I hope you too are ok. Enjoy the week xxx

      • FitFatFood February 13, 2018 at 12:06 am #

        I’m so so pleased to hear it! Keep going :))

      • Nikki March 3, 2018 at 8:25 am #

        Dear Fitfatfood

        Thought I would send you a happy sober weekend message. I am nearly half way into my 100 days sober and feeling so amazing. The depression and negative thinking is lifting daily which is such a blessing. I can’t believe how wonderful I now feel getting up every day instead of the feelings of dread and black fog that was always enveloping me. My brain is also free of the constant nagging to have a drink and I now have time and space to think about all other aspects of my life. All is positive today and I believe every day I grow stronger and stronger to cope with the life events that get thrown at us…. xxx

      • FitFatFood March 4, 2018 at 3:34 pm #

        I am so so so delighted to hear this! Just did a little star jump of joy!

      • Nikki March 4, 2018 at 7:33 pm #

        Thanks for your response. It brought a huge smile and chuckle xxx


  1. AWOL | The Wren - April 24, 2014

    […] https://fitfatfood.wordpress.com/2014/04/24/100-days-without-alcohol/ […]

  2. Fat Loss | FitFatFood- Blogging to Stay Sober - April 28, 2014

    […] not possible to drink like I was and shift the pounds. But, as I blogged last week when I hit 100 days, losing weight in early sobriety isn’t a given. In fact, weight gain is a distinct […]

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