How the other Half Drink

7 Jul

Thank you so much for all your supportive comments yesterday- it really helped me talk myself down off the ledge. I wasn’t at risk of *actually* drinking I don’t think, but the intensity of the desire to made me really scared.

One of the things that’s helped me on a number of occasions is going and being with drinkers. This sounds like the worst possible situation to put myself in, but it has a strange effect. I no longer want to drink when I’m in their company.

I watch them, letting their glasses sit in on the table untouched, sipping away and making a single glass last an hour. I observe their lack of interest in what they’re consuming, focusing on the conversation around them. When someone says ‘another round?’, I watch them refuse it without flinching because it’s a Sunday night.

That doesn’t appeal to me. I’d want two large glasses of wine in quick succession before I felt steadied, then I’d be itching for more, wishing the others would hurry up.

Then there’s the drinkers who are more like me. Those who down their first glass with relish, kindly offer to get the next round of drinks in and then sit there, glass empty, eyes darting around the table. The worst possible scenario for this drinker is the Sharing a Bottle of Wine scenario, in which they always are the one topping up, filling the others glass up by mere millimetres to look like they’re sharing. This was my particular agony, endured time after time. When I told one of my friends about my problem he insisted I couldn’t be an alcoholic and then reflected ‘I did notice for every glass of wine I had, you filled yours up twice…’

Being sober is far preferable to all of this and as I sat in a bar last night, I was happy with my decision for life, to be a Non Drinker.

I feel on more stable ground today, surprise surprise the feelings have subsided. All I had to do was hold on, get my head onto the pillow and wake up sober.

Happy Monday!

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8 Responses to “How the other Half Drink”

  1. soberlearning July 7, 2014 at 12:10 pm #

    My bed is my go to place when I have cravings also. Bed, a book and a handful of M&M’s. Glad you are still with us! 🙂

  2. moretomethanthis July 7, 2014 at 12:33 pm #

    I can completely relate to this feeling… that sipping one glass half the evening like it just didn’t matter was never me, and I would far rather be a non-drinker than try and try to play that part. Happier and more relaxed this way 🙂 Glad the horrid craving type feelings have died away. xx

  3. schooseslife July 7, 2014 at 7:01 pm #

    This is such an insightful post. Thank you. It is so true that it helps to be out with others. The normal drinkers just show us how dysfunctional our drinking is, and the heavy drinkers just make us so relieved to not be like that anymore !!!! I will really remember this when I next have an evening out. Well done for getting through your temptation period. Well done.

  4. birdomcd July 7, 2014 at 8:09 pm #

    I was just thinking of you. well done honey. keep going 🙂

  5. afteralcohol July 8, 2014 at 1:57 am #

    It’s funny how different things work for different people; if you’d said at the time of yesterday’s post that you were going to go sit in a bar with drinkers, I’d have been running towards you in cinematographic slow-mo, shouting ‘Noooooooooo!’. But it sounds like it worked well.

    You’re doing brilliantly, anyway. Thanks for updating; you’re just far enough ahead of me that it’s really useful to have both the warnings and the inspiration to read.

  6. Rebecca A. Watson July 8, 2014 at 11:33 am #

    Watching other people drink is an exercise in curiosity for me as well. The ones that sip one glass (or even leave the dinner table having not finished one!) will forever baffle me. Glad you’re feeling better today. Like Soberlearning said, bed is my key weapon against cravings. That and chocolate 🙂

  7. Annie July 9, 2014 at 8:50 pm #

    You are amazing to be so strong. At 61 days, a week or so ago, I relapsed. I woke up and decided that moderation was the way forward. Such a bad idea. I haven’t had a good day since. I want to get back, but don’t know if that’s possible? So depressed about it, but I don’t seem to have the same resolve. Help!

    • FitFatFood July 10, 2014 at 1:04 am #

      I had so many times like that Annie, so many day 1s. I’d have a sober period and then be all like “oh I am FINE again, which means I can drink!” And then the cycle just restarted.

      It’s funny you mention strength here, because I honestly believe strength and willpower has nothing to do with it. I used to beat myself up for lacking both these qualities and I’ve learnt that I have both in bucketloads, except when it comes to the madness of alcohol.

      I don’t know if you’ve read my journey into AA, but I was so anti the whole thing and then I gave it a chance, went to my first meeting fully expecting to walk hot halfway through and haven’t had a drink since. I’m not sure whether you’ve considered this but for me, the strange power of it has kept me sober.

      Email me if you want to chat privately fitfatfood@gmail.com x x x x

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