First Sober Holiday

6 Aug

I stand before you today as a graduate of my FIRST SOBER HOLIDAY. I bloody did it. And it was wonderful.

I cannot express the joy I felt every day on that break. I was in the most beautiful surroundings, with some fantastic friends, and I was PRESENT to enjoy it. 

The last two holidays I went on cemented my knowledge that I had a drink problem. I was taking deceptive to whole new levels, sneaking red wine into diet coke at lunch time, sneakily calling reception to refill the mini bar, disappearing for hours to drink alone on the beach, trying to stay sober-looking enough to have dinner in some sort of respectable state. It was grim. And I’d mark the end of each holiday by drinking a bottle (or more) of wine alone when I arrived back, putting off reality.

This time, there was none of that. And there was ALOT of drinking going on around me. Prosecco on the train to the airport, wine on the plane, endless sitting outside beautiful bars, beers on the balcony, a night out til 5am clubbing fuelled by jagar bombs. I sparkling watered/diet coked/espressoed it through and had the time of my life. 

All of it was wonderful because of being sober, not in spite of. 

Yes I had pangs, but nothing I’d ever want to act on, because at almost 7 months sober, I’m on a roll I never want to break. On the best days, I feel calm, in control and thrilled to be alive. That holiday was made up of day after day of feeling the best bits of sobriety. No more shame, no more deception, no more nausea that only a drink can fix, just sunshine, laughter and serenity.

This time last year, I was at the beginning of my first attempt of Belle’s 100 Day Challenge and really struggling. Sobriety takes time and work, but it really is achievable. I never thought I’d make it to where I am now, so if you’re struggling or new to trying to sobriety, have faith that it’s possible. 

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

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26 Responses to “First Sober Holiday”

  1. lucy2610 August 6, 2014 at 5:33 pm #

    Just awesome FFF 🙂 You sound so strong and it’s lovely to hear xx

    • FitFatFood August 6, 2014 at 11:17 pm #

      It’s lovely to feel this strong! I hope you are well lovely one x

  2. mallards4us August 6, 2014 at 6:09 pm #

    Exactly what I needed to read today! Yay for you! I look forward to feeling so good:) xx

  3. sillymelove August 6, 2014 at 6:15 pm #

    That’s great, you sound so positive!

  4. thirstystill August 6, 2014 at 7:58 pm #

    Fantastic! Realizing that “All of it was wonderful because of being sober, not in spite of” is such a great thing. Glad to hear you had a wonderful holiday. xo

    • FitFatFood August 6, 2014 at 11:16 pm #

      Thank you thirsty 🙂 refreshed and rejuvenated for once! No booze means you actually rest x

  5. jana0714 August 6, 2014 at 9:14 pm #

    Congratulations on 2 years.. I was encouraged to hear you say you did the 10 day challenge. I am very new to sober blogging, on Day 24, and committed to the Challenge..!
    (I am Jana at http://secondchancesnoregrets.wordpress.com.

    • jana0714 August 6, 2014 at 9:15 pm #

      Whoops- meant 100 Day Challenge of course…

      • FitFatFood August 6, 2014 at 11:16 pm #

        Haha, 10 would be much more achievable 🙂

  6. littlemsjones August 6, 2014 at 9:23 pm #

    As someone at the very beginning of this journey, I find this so inspirational. I want to be where you are.

    • FitFatFood August 6, 2014 at 11:16 pm #

      I didn’t think it was possible but it is. Dig your heels in. Get past the first tough 50 days and I promise once you get some clear blue water between you and the last drink it becomes less of a daily battle and more of a lifestyle.

  7. carrythemessage August 7, 2014 at 1:19 am #

    Lots of “firsts” in this journey…and congrats to you on this one! It gets easier as time passes and we go through these things more and more. 🙂

  8. Annie August 7, 2014 at 7:12 am #

    Such an inspiring post! I’ve just drunk my way through a holiday and feel really down. I want a new Day 1 but am frightened that I keep failing. I managed 60 days a few months ago, but I have been drinking since then. So so useless of me. Annie x

    • Lilly August 8, 2014 at 3:10 am #

      Annie, I am sorry I haven’t replied to your comment on my post – still sick so haven’t kept up. But I just want to remind you that both FFF and I have had SOOO many of-offs. We totally get it. It doesn’t mean you can’t do it. You just have to dig in and try again,… And again if need be. You will find that quit that clicks if you I keep going. Use the bad experiences of your recent drinking to shore up your motivation. Write it all out how it felt and why you want to quit, so you can go back to it when you feel tempted to drink again. Stock up your sober toolbox and try again. And STOP beating yourself up. I know how hard that one is when you have the post drinking blues but remember it is alcohol that is causing you to feel so down on yourself. With some time sober you will find the sparkly happy feelings again I promise.

      Lilly x

      • FitFatFood August 10, 2014 at 1:11 pm #

        I SECOND EVERY WORD OF THIS 🙂

        (shouty caps for emphasis)

    • FitFatFood August 10, 2014 at 1:13 pm #

      Annie- it’s so easy to do, to drink again. I second everything Lily said. Bank this experience, learn and you’ll get your sober momentum back. It’s hard, but all of us who keep trying make it eventually 🙂

  9. Binki (sobernoodles) August 7, 2014 at 2:42 pm #

    Fantastic news xxx

  10. Lilly August 8, 2014 at 3:06 am #

    This is so wonderful! I am so happy to read this and proud of you. When I saw your comment on my post I thought, wow, I don’t know how I could handle that, one big night in a club was hard enough. But it is so great that you can see it’s awesome because of being sober not in spite of. Let’s keep rocking sober superstar friend. Day 31 for me over here and that feels good despite still being rather sick. Big love to you. Xxx

    • FitFatFood August 10, 2014 at 1:12 pm #

      1 month again already? You’re on a roll 🙂

      And get well soon my lovely x

  11. primrose August 8, 2014 at 8:24 am #

    Tickled pink to read this – so happy for you 🙂 🙂 xxx

  12. A Woman Without Wine August 8, 2014 at 10:03 am #

    Primrose shared your blog with me, such a lovely read. I’m at 108 days today and just finished 6 nights in Fiji with my family and sisters friends for her 40th, it has been difficult at times and there have been a few tears, but I have made it and still had a wonderful time to the point I don’t want to leave because it’s beautiful here, but I also can’t wait to get away from drinkers and back to my ‘sober support crew’. Can’t believe you had a 5am finish! I was lucky to make it to 11pm one night and that was my best go .. sober dancing for the first time in 22 years haha Roll on being at 7 months + and feeling a bit better about things xx

    • FitFatFood August 10, 2014 at 1:11 pm #

      Hello! Welcome 🙂

      Gald you enjoyed it, but there’s no question its tough. I just find that more time under my belt is happening, and learning new sober habits.

      Hopefully we’ve have many more sober holidays ahead of us 🙂

      x x

  13. Lilly August 8, 2014 at 11:01 am #

    Also, friends discussing group beach (doubtless boozy) holiday today. First thought was anxiety. Then I remembered this post And bookmarked it case I need inspiration closer to the date 🙂

    • FitFatFood August 10, 2014 at 1:09 pm #

      Ahh so glad to hear it! I’m writing a post about Sober Partying because it’s those drink-focused events that, like sober holidays, are more daunting in theory than in reality.

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