27 Oct

I’ve started to think drinking would be a good idea.

I don’t know whether it’s my emotional roller-coaster of a week, the fact I haven’t been to a meeting for almost 2 weeks or the date I went on with a wine expert (I know, I know…) but it’s creeping in there.

I know it’s not even a remote possibility for me, but suddenly it feels tempting.

I’m going back to the old “why can’t I drink?!”, the foot-stomping toddler in me piping up.

I need to focus on recovery to quieten that voice. Shhhhhhhh wolfie…


21 Responses to “Temptations”

  1. primrose October 27, 2014 at 6:11 pm #

    can you give your toddler some attention? a hug, a story, just be with her for a while rather than chasing around like a crazy person? because maybe if she is stamping her foot that’s what she needs….a cuddle rather than ignoring….

    lots of love to you. you know what to do, right? keep doing it 🙂 xxx

    • FitFatFood October 30, 2014 at 7:39 am #

      I need to give that toddler love but I’m not sure how. I’ll work it out 🙂

      Thank you lovely prim x x x

  2. ainsobriety October 27, 2014 at 6:15 pm #

    Can you go back and read something you wrote from earlier days?
    Or a newer blogger? Or the recent bubble hour on relapse? Powerful stuff.

    Going back to early sobriety just doesn’t seem very fun….that’s enough to keep the wine in the bottle for me.

    • FitFatFood October 30, 2014 at 7:38 am #

      Old blog posts always takes me right back. I’ll stay here, thanks.

      Early sobriety was the worst. Why test the waters again? X x

  3. greg w October 27, 2014 at 6:48 pm #

    Okay, I promise. This is my last comment. Go over to Lucy’s New Life and read her final post from May 30th. What the heck — read it a couple of times. And then, just for the heck of it, take your pulse to make sure you’re still breathing.

    Hey, I’m outta here!

    • FitFatFood October 30, 2014 at 7:37 am #

      Thanks for all the wisdom Greg!!!

  4. e12p October 27, 2014 at 7:29 pm #

    If you ever made the two lists – why being sober is good for you and why using alcohol is bad for you – go re-read them. If not, take some time to write them. That may discipline the toddler a bit.

    • FitFatFood October 30, 2014 at 7:37 am #

      I haven’t done a list like that, but I should- I suspect one column would be empty…. Thank you

  5. momma bee October 27, 2014 at 7:52 pm #

    NO NO NO~ quiet that bitch!!!! Not a good idea and I know you already know that inside. Fuck him! Get to a meeting~ get your sober tools handy and right by your side~ Hugs!

    • FitFatFood October 30, 2014 at 7:36 am #

      Haha, I love the non nonsense sassy momma bee coming out there! Be gone wolfie! *karate chop*

  6. moretomethanthis October 27, 2014 at 8:25 pm #

    There’s something you need. In the past, your answer to the question, “What do I need?” was always, “`A glass of wine,” and your real needs were left unmet. Find out what it is you need, whether it’s rest, sleep, time alone, time with someone, connection, intimacy, space… For sure, there is something you need that you don’t have, and it’s not wine. Hugs. xxx

  7. waking up October 27, 2014 at 9:39 pm #

    I think you may have touched on the reasons that wine suddenly seems like a good idea. Your rollercoaster week is a lot to process all at once. And if you haven’t been to meetings when you normally would have done, maybe you are in need of the support they offer. And dating a wine expert when feeling vulnerable might have added those rose (wine) tinted glasses into the mix!
    Stay strong 🙂 x

    • FitFatFood October 30, 2014 at 7:36 am #

      Thank you- the urge passed, as it always does…

  8. yetanotherbusylady October 28, 2014 at 12:04 am #

    So timely – I feel the same way! Have you had any time for self care with your crazy schedule? I know that my “oh hey, I’d like a drink” is totally connected to working way too many days without a day off and having absolutely zero time to take care of myself. Whatever the things are that make you feel rested and centered – meetings, sleep, exercise, or something else – I bet they’re the antidote to how you’re feeling right now.

    Did you listen to the recent Bubble Hour episode on relapse? It really made me think about how important self care is (it also kind of freaked me out).

    • FitFatFood October 30, 2014 at 7:35 am #

      I did listen to that episode, and it also freaked me out a bit!

      You’re spot on- self care has slipped a little… Back to it!

  9. Annie October 28, 2014 at 9:45 am #

    I literally woke up this morning thinking about you, and how you managed to give up drinking after various stop/starts. You may have seen from my blog that I haven’t being doing so well lately, and I’m sure you don’t want to go back to that: all that indecision, all those questions. It is so so hard, and I totally hear what you’re saying. Have a look at my recent posts – they may help you to stick to your path! Love Annie x

    • FitFatFood October 30, 2014 at 7:34 am #

      thanks Annie- the stop starts were part of the process for me- they showed me I really did need to stop, and stayed stopped…

      Hope you’re feeling better today x

  10. Debbie October 28, 2014 at 9:37 pm #

    I am feeling the same pangs for the drink. Quite a few times in the past month I’ve almost given in to the fuck its. Very scary. Hang in there my friend!!! We can do this!

    • FitFatFood October 30, 2014 at 7:33 am #

      We can indeed! *sober ninja move*

  11. mallards4us October 29, 2014 at 2:12 pm #

    Nope, you don’t wanna go back there. I tried it for you for 2 nights straight- and there was NOTHING good about it and lingering sadness and disappointment. You are doing great- and you are missing nothing – you have gained confidence, love for yourself, pride, and all things that are good. Keep up the great work:) xo

    • FitFatFood October 30, 2014 at 7:32 am #

      Thanks mallard. It’s always helpful to reminded this is better in theory than in practice…

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