The Winds of Change

5 Feb

In sobriety the thing that never ceases to amaze me is just how quickly my feelings can change. I’ve gone from feeling pretty desperate earlier this week to (sort of) my old happy self back in the matter of days.

When I was drinking, those black holes were much harder to climb out of. It was like I was knocking myself down over and over again and every time I started to feel better I’d drink again, starting the downward spiral once more.

Now, even when I’m in a bit of a funk, it doesn’t take too long to get out of it. Earlier this week I was really stressed about some financial issues and I tried to remember the key pillars of the Setentity Prayer, doing what I could do change my situation and knowing the elements that were outside my control would resolve themselves.

That’s not to say I’m not still finding life difficult at the moment, unable to shake a very flat feeling, but it’s getting much easier to stay calm as the week goes on.

Ever since starting this blog I’ve tried to chart the highs and lows of sobriety so I can look back on them. When I look back at the intensity of some of the lows from that wonderful vantage point that is hindsight, it helps soothe my soul because it acts as a reminder that everything is transient; as the good times pass, so do the bad.

Any moment now I’m going to burst into song with a bit of Elton *It’s the ciiiiiirrrrrcle of liiiiiiiiiiffeeeeeeee*

So I’ll leave it there… Happy Thursday!

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7 Responses to “The Winds of Change”

  1. primrose February 5, 2015 at 7:38 pm #

    ha ha at you singing… could have been worse…..thinking of you as Maria in The Sound of Music running along your mountain top 😉

    happy Thursday my deario – nearly the weekend! xxx

  2. ainsobriety February 5, 2015 at 8:45 pm #

    It is easier to climb out when you aren’t knocking yourself down. So true.

    • FitFatFood February 5, 2015 at 9:31 pm #

      Yes- here’s my little head emerging from the pothole 🙂

  3. Rusty February 6, 2015 at 2:19 pm #

    You couldn’t have written it any better. Almost 30 days into sobriety, I’ve been more aware of the ebb and flow of my emotions mainly because since I feel so much better, crappy days and moments really stand out. Before sobriety, feeling down was the dominant emotional state with wonderful interludes of happiness. You should give one of the 5-minute Meditation videos on Youtube a try. I think they help balance your emotions, when you sense things getting out of whack. Get yourself a good pair of headphones and your off to the races.

  4. tiredoftreadingwater February 7, 2015 at 6:40 am #

    Black holes, financial worries and flat feelings sound familiar at the moment. You’re not alone feeling like that. I guess we just have to remember that everything passes but it’s not always easy I know. I hope your weekend starts on a high note 🙂

  5. evia859 February 8, 2015 at 5:52 pm #

    Hi. Just wanted to say that your blog really helps me get a good perspective of sober life. I stumbled across it in Sept this year and started reading from the beginning. At this time I was trying to give up by myself…didnt happen. 5 months on I am 3 months sober and I find it really refreshing to log in and read your posts. I do enjoy my aa meetings but it’s nice to have a change and read a blog. Yours is really inspiring me. Thank you for writing. 🙂

    • FitFatFood February 8, 2015 at 6:04 pm #

      So pleased to hear it, thank you 🙂

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