Snakes and Ladders

I’ve had some dazzling highs in recovery of late, but the last day or two have felt, well, a little flat. It can’t be unicorns and fluffy kittens all the time and sometimes, life is just ok.

It’s good for me to keep this blog because I’ve always charted my highs and lows and it teaches me one message over and over in many different ways: recovering isn’t linear. Some months I’ve felt like I’m walking backwards through mud, others I’ve been quite literally walking on air. And being the temperamental alcoholic I am, this can change in a matter of hours. Knowing I’m susceptible to this change is one of the greatest weapons in my sober armoury: it helps me gain much needed perspective and ride the emotional roller coaster without panicking.

My spiritual growth recently has been blossoming, but this has come at a bit of a price; I’ve felt a little introverted, like I need to be out in the world more. And that’s the next phase- moving from taking time for me to giving time to others, to socialise again and make the most of my freedom.

What I love about maturing in recovery is that ice been through enough ups and downs now to know this: nothing lasts forever. A feeling won’t kill us. But a drink might.

And that’s what I’m saying thank you for today- the compulsion to drink is no longer with me and that is a gift I can enjoy daily.

Happy Wednesday!