Emotional Overflow

4 Nov

For all my flaws, one of my skills is a real ability to feel my emotions, step back and analyse them and strive to improve.

At my best, I’m very emotional intuitive and good at emotional connection with others. At my worst, I’m a husk, depleted from all the self flaggellation and analysis. 

Since I started writing and reflecting more, I’ve been wondering how I can limit my constant carousel of self analysis. It is CONSTANT. I’ve got to the point in my life where I seek such depth in conversation and relationships that I can lack levity and carefreeness (?!) and the ability to chitter chatter about nothing. Is that a bad thing? I don’t know. But I do know I can’t keep putting myself through the mill of self analysis every hour of the day.

On the one hand, my recovery is off track because I’m not formalising it enough by going to meetings etc, but on the other, I almost can’t bear to turn up the dial of emotional work. 

Has anyone had this experience? Of being too emotionally intense, all the time?! How did you strike the balance of doing the work and being freer in your thoughts?

X X x

12 Responses to “Emotional Overflow”

  1. Adrian November 4, 2016 at 4:48 pm #

    For me, one of the loveliest and most powerful ways of doing this is transcendental meditation. It’s such a relief to access “pure consciousness” and leave the human heaviness and chatter in me behind.

    • FitFatFood November 5, 2016 at 10:57 am #

      Thanks Adrian. My dilemma is that the effect of such practices works for an hour, a few hours and then slips away. Maybe I need to do it every couple of hours until I’m on an even keel?!

      • Adrian December 30, 2016 at 12:45 pm #

        A regular practice is ideal — twice a day is what many people practice. You just keep returning and returning and returning again, and it infuses the rest of daily life more and more. Since I typed my first reply I discovered the book May Cause Miracles by Gabby Bernstein, and it is revolutionary. It’s a six-week guided process that is pretty mind/spirit-boggling. I don’t completely love the writing style (it’s a little giddy for my taste), but who cares. It’s brilliant and I think would nibble away at (or more) your frustrations here…

  2. readingcreature November 4, 2016 at 6:05 pm #

    I second meditation but came to that after falling in love with yoga. Its almost a cliche to suggest yoga in recovery but I have found it so liberating to find a way to be in my body and to quiet my mind. Drinking had disconnected me from myself and yoga has brought me back to both body and spirit. Aside from the great physical sensation of having moved and stretched I leave a class (a good one and I shopped around) feeling as if my mind has just stepped out of a long hot shower. Meditation followed as a logical next step and is one of the great tools for sitting with the uncomfortable feelings and not automatically trying to self soothe with any outside substance or activity in a fruitless attempt to make the feelings go away.

    PS Have you found Home podcast and Hip Sobriety blog and Laura McKowen? So much goodness and truth telling and tools there too.

    • ainsobriety November 5, 2016 at 1:12 am #

      I second yoga. It has change my life.
      I’m not sure I have the same emotional sense you do. I feel very intuitive to others feels…but I lack any understanding of my own.

      That apathy bothers me…but I have found different ways to deal.

      Again. Yoga and meditation.

      • FitFatFood November 5, 2016 at 10:42 am #

        `I picked them up and them dropped them again, through The Busy. But that’s bullshit, because there is always always time.

        Thank you.

    • FitFatFood November 5, 2016 at 11:02 am #

      Thank you! I hadn’t heard of the home podcast- sounds just what I need right now.

      And the yoga stance is popular- I need to return to a practice, I’ve been lax…

  3. lucy2610 November 5, 2016 at 8:28 am #

    To echo the other comments – meditation is great for switching off. Recently trialled the Feel Stress Free app (and blogged about it so link is on blog) which was very good as has inbuilt CBT techniques which also help turn down the volume on the internal chatter & self analysis 🙂 xx

  4. byebyebeer November 5, 2016 at 9:50 am #

    I don’t meditate but I do find relief in exercise, especially a hike in the woods or regular walk outdoors. Getting involved with others also helps get me out of my head. It can be as simple as an email to a friend or reading and commenting on other blogs/social media, volunteering at an event, etc. It feels easier with practice or else the world just gradually opened up this way in sobriety, I’m not sure.

    • FitFatFood November 5, 2016 at 5:03 pm #

      Thanks. You just reminded me it’s been ages since I’ve had a soothing Bubble Hour companion when I’m battling through rush hour. That will help restore some zen 😉

      • ainsobriety November 6, 2016 at 2:48 pm #

        There have been some awesome guests on the bubble hour recently.
        Smart, articulate women. All living beautiful lives.

  5. primrose November 6, 2016 at 6:39 am #

    I remembered a saying recently about our troubles coming when we try to feel with our heads and think with our hearts. for me rumination is just that, getting stuck in the emotional mud of thought patterns and not being able to get out. finding a way that suits you to break that suction is the key, I think – I would second all of the above suggestions of getting into the body….

    I heard an interesting suggestion the other day that we should treat our thoughts as our sixth sense and accord them only as much attention as we give, for example, to what we can hear. right now I can hear birds waking up, my cat purring on my lap, the hum of the computer. noticing those things gives me a break from the inside of my head – maybe you, too? big love from me xxx

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