This week I turned four years sober. It passed gently, inconsequentially and I almost forgot to acknowledge it.
That’s how far things have come. Gone are the days of the minute by minute crawl towards bedtime, when I wanted to feel the sweet relief of the pillow, a sense of release and pride that I’d dragged myself through another day. Now sobriety is a gift I treasure, a part of life that feels as natural and precious as breathing, requiring a similarly unconscious effort.
I had some difficult times last year, but have emerged with a level of strength and dignity I’ve never before experienced. It feels exquisite and surprising. I have undertaken some work in the world that I could not have done without my experience of the lows of alcoholism, the structure of the 12 Step programme and the spiritual enquiry that it led me to.
Never when I was in the depths of the addiction could I have imagined how beautiful life could be without alcohol. All I craved every day was to feel better. An end to the cycle. Now I am experiencing levels of calm and bliss ‘beyond my wildest dreams’
Sobriety is worth every relapse, every struggle, every breakdown.
The power of this online community and the 12 step programmes have given me everything. Thank you to you all.
