Tag Archives: depression

The Headspace Challenge

27 Dec

I think for many of us, we drink for emotional reasons that it’s hard to come to terms with when we get sober.

I’ve had some very dark days of very low mood and anxiety since quitting drinking, which has got worse since I slipped up earlier this week. 

So, I’m trying meditation to help me learn to sit with my feelings and avoid squishing them with drink. 

I have experimented with meditation in the past, and this approach really helped me: http://www.getsomeheadspace.com/how-to-meditate.aspx

The challenge is simple- sign up for the ‘Take 10’ course for free by signing up, and dedicate 10 mins day to meditation for 10 days. 

I meditated last night when in an emotional storm, and it helped me so much. I’m going to continue with this.

Who’s with me? 🙂

 

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Unhappy Christmas

25 Dec

Christmas would have been so different if I hadn’t drank. I feel down, anxious and helpless. Today would have been day 45, I would have gone on my annual Christmas run with joy in my heart. Once I drink, the negative effects last for days. I ran this morning and derived no pleasure from it, I felt ashamed, self loathing and deep rooted sadness. I wanted to sit down in the middle of the street and cry.

My family are big drinkers and watching them do it today is making me even sadder. My brother suffers from depression and has just got out of a spell in prison, and just looking at him drinking bottle after bottle of beer makes me want to weep.

But, every day is a new start, and tomorrow I’m hoping the post-drinking blues abate and that I start to get some of my sober clarity and peace back. 

This time next year when I post on Christmas day, I want to do so with a year of sobriety under my belt. I want to re-read this and remember the pain and discomfort that drinking has brought back so quickly. I want to have worked through how to cope with my low moods and be a stronger person for it. I want to be 100% sober and comfortable with a new lifestyle. Drinking ruins so much, it’s just not worth it. I’ve written it time after time on here this year and keep slipping. One day, I’ll no longer slip, I’ll wobble along sober but will no longer fall.

This post is like a little message in a bottle for what I hope the next year will bring. It will be my 2014 Christmas Day treat to read how far I’ll have come. I can do this, I know it’s within me to. I just need to keep the faith in myself, which I currently don’t have back, but  with a few sober days under my belt, it will come. 

Here’s to ending 2013 sober and starting 2014 on the right foot. 

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