Today I’m feeling really strong. REALLY strong.
Something has changed in the last week, since I last got drunk and started on Day 1 again. When I’ve stopped drinking before, I’ve either not truly believed I can do it, or not really wanted to, or felt a victim. Something has shifted inside me, something that makes me believe I will see this 100 days through this time.
As you may guess from the title, when I set up this blog, I intended it to be about my love for fitness, for healthy food recipes and for blogging through feeling fatter (read: recovering from anorexia). Well, it turned into a revelatory experience that has led me to conclude that I’m an alcoholic. I display all the signs of someone who has become addicted to alcohol, it has just been a very slow process realising this.
The bloggers I used to follow were athletes, weight lifters, strong women who inspired me to better myself, push harder and marvel at the brilliant physical sports my body can do. With the unexpected journey this blog has taken, I have found a whole new set of women online whose success in completing Belle’s 100 Day Challenge, in making a commitment to sobriety and sticking to it through thick and thin, have inspired me.
Thank you to all the strong women out there blogging, commenting and supporting others at the start of this journey. For the first time I feel that one day, I might just become one of you.