Not thinking about Drinking

It’s Friday, I’m at home about to cook some dinner and I haven’t had a sniff of a craving for wine.

In every previous attempt at sobriety I have been clinging on to make it through the hours of 4 & 8pm, desperately waiting for the craving to pass. Sometimes I could even taste the wine in my mouth. Eventually I always cracked.

Since going to AA & focusing on the programme, I’ve barely thought about drinking. I’ve thought about alcoholism and what sober life looks like, but the thought of actually picking up a drink hasn’t occurred to me.

It’s not a solution anymore. I know I want to live my life without the darkness alcohol brings and as readers of this blog know, my extensive “moderation testing” definitely didn’t work. So now, it’s all about working out how to be me, sober.

That’s pretty liberating. Before Christmas when I passed 30 days I was waiting for some magical change, some “cure” to take the desire to drink away. And that never came.

Now, the change seems to have happened. Slowly, subtly, I’ve turned away from alcohol in my mind. It may not be forever I’m free of the wine chatter, but for now I am and it feels bloody amazing.

HAPPY FRIDAY!