Where I’m At

I rarely log into WordPress these days, but there’s something about Autumn that makes me recall the struggles of 2013, my last few months drinking, where this blog was the source of so much support and insight and helpful reflection.

Now, 4 years on, life could not be better. I have no desire to drink. My sugar addiction magically melted away at some point I can’t recall. My life is abundant and full of love, joy and opportunities. I never believed it could be this way, but it is.

I knew life would be better without alcohol. But looking back, my sense of what it would look like was blinkered. I imagined life would feel easier. But I never knew it would feel magical. I never knew that pain could dissolve into joy and ease.

There have been so many difficult times in sobriety, but this is how I see them now: they’re part of my humaness. I experience the bad and good as equally valid experiences, and can manage to do so without a substance.

I suppose I wanted to pop in here with this message of hope. If you’re drinking and want to stop, just keep at it. Sobriety, as my journey demonstrates, doesn’t happen just like that. It’s a process of committing and coming back to trying again and again, even when you fall. It’s a process of seeking help, and staying close to those who offer their kindness.  It’s a process of saying out loud, over and over, to the universe: ‘please help me.’ It’s about trying to go to a meeting. Remaining open to what you might hear in those rooms. It’s about knowing that there’s a place inside you that is always ok, and remembering that you’re pouring alcohol on top of it, but that it will always be there for you when the booze is gone.

Sending love and light to you on this Autumn Sunday. Keep on keeping on x x x